ALBUM REVIEW: GWAR - BATTLE MAXIMUS

Posted by Rob Ryles on September - 14 - 2013 Comments Off

GWAR- BATTLE MAXIMUS / Release: September 17, 2013 / Label: Metal Blade Records

PLEASE NOTE: There are many fucks given in this review. Mind you they are good fucks, but if you don’t like the word fuck or take offense to the word fuck, then you probably should not fucking read this review. Consider yourself fucking warned. Thank you.

Antarctic rock gods GWAR are back with their new album, Battle Maximus - back with a mighty vengeance mother fuckers! After their longtime guitarist, Flattus Maximus, returned to his home planet, they have blown the Horn of Hate and summoned a new filth loving Scumdog from space to shred the fuck out of that poor fucking thing you call a fucking face! His name is Pustulus Maximus and he’s zit-encrusted and undeniably riff-fucking-tastic!

It’s a good fucking thing he showed up too, as GWAR are about to enter what could be their hardest battle yet! The giant space asshole, Mr. Perfect, has travelled back in time to fuck the human race a new corn-hole! Can GWAR survive the fight? Will we be destined to live our lives as the giant space douche Mr. Perfect sees fit? Can GWAR top their last record Bloody Pit of Horror?

GWAR are just as repulsively disgusting as ever and you’re going to fucking love it, if you’re a GWAR fan you know what’s on offer here. More riffs than a cheap whore could wrap herself around in one night, more putrid lyrical content than your drunken idiotic friends could vomit up after four bottles of whiskey and more ass kicking than a Chuck Norris marathon. This is all done, surprisingly, with utter class and musical determination.

Where many “joke” bands fail, GWAR succeed. There is enough serious music content to keep even the most cynical asshole interested. It is what has kept GWAR at the forefront of Space Metal for so long. They constantly challenge themselves in their music and challenge the crowd with their stage antics. According to Oderus the new live show will feature Mr. Perfect eating his own ass nightly. Better take the kids and the grandparents for that one!

Vocally Battle Maximus is smeared with GWARisms left, right and centre but there is an almost Tenacious D-esque quality to a few of the lyrics and melodies, especially in the opening and closing tracks Intro and Fly Now.

Let’s look at a few tracks from the ass-pounding, face-fucking record that is Battle Maximus.

“Intro” - GWAR has captured the perfect auditory combination of George Martin books and Star Wars films with “Intro.” It’s a medieval tournament in space. The guitars flow like a maiden’s hair as she fantasizes about her valiant steed rescuing her from space dragons and the keyboards are fuzzier than an orgy with the Muppets. What better way to start your battle against an evil mother fucker from space?

“Madness at the Core of Time” – Somewhere in San Francisco lays Kirk Hammet, crying salty tears of sadness and jealousy over the amount of wah-wah pedal that’s used on the guitar solos on this song and really the entire record. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scumdogs broke into Metallica’s HQ and sucked out Kirks “Wah-essence” with their giant space instruments. MATCOT’s guitar solos and all around thrash-ness is such a great opening to a record that many people might believe it to be true. In this one track, GWAR dismiss any fears that fans may have had and continue to dismiss them throughout the record.

Watch “Madness at the Core of Time” (Official):

“Bloodbath” - Opening with a riff somewhere between Slayer and Meshuggah and banging along into the most sing-a-long track on the record, “Bloodbath” is bound to be a crowd favourite. I can see it now: GWAR spraying the crowd with their enormous space dicks, the dick-soaked crowd singing “I saw a dead body on the side of the road” and loving every single fucked up second of it. What a perfectly morbid image GWAR can paint with their words and some giant dicks.

CLICK TO PRE-ORDER HERE!

“Torture: - Musically this reminds me of The Haunted back in the rEVOLVEr era. Once again, the guitars shine here, not to detract from the brutal drumming or the in-the-pocket bass playing or the vocals that only GWAR could give birth to, but the riffing on “Torture” is the best on the entire record. They are pure sex; condensed down into six string form. That’s a big fuck yeah from me.

“Battle Maximus”- The title track is an instrumental fight to the death between our favourite Scumdogs and that giant space douche Mr Perfect. Who comes out on top after 3:39 of furious fret board fingering and sexual snare drum smashing? You’ll have to run out on September 17^th to buy Battle Maximus and find out!

Whether or not Battle Maximus will top the critically acclaimed Bloody Pit of Horror all comes down to the listener’s personal taste. But there is certainly a new energy to GWAR and they show it throughout the record. They have mourned the loss of Flattus Maximus’ return to his home planet, and have come out the end of it with a record he would be proud of and riffs you know he is jamming at full volume to his people in the outer-galactic.

You will not be disappointed with Battle Maximus. No fucking way.

5 out of 5 skulls is the highest I can go, otherwise, there would be a heaping pile of skulls and bones thrown in for good measure!